The Science of Fallacies
by mickeythebluemagic
Summary: John is about to go on a date. Sherlock wishes he could be more logical. Gen.


Author's note: I wrote this a few years ago back in high school, when we were learning about fallacies.

I got inspired by the short story we read, "Love is a fallacy". The main character reminded me so much of Sherlock. You should try checking it out XD

* * *

It was a chilly night when I went out of my room hurriedly. I didn't bother to react to the mess left in the kitchen which I supposedly had cleaned earlier that day, nor to the fact that a disembodied hand littered the coffee table, nor to the fact that the person responsible for everything was slumped in the couch, twirling my revolver like it was a toy. I was already late and I didn't have time to reprimand anyone, especially a highly-functioning sociopath.

"Sherlock, I won't be here for tea." I announced as I grabbed my coat from the hanger.

"Another date with Sarah, I presume." he replied, still toying with the revolver.

"Deliciae... I don't think I've been there before." he added.

I didn't question how he figured out I was going out with Sarah, as it may have been obvious, though it baffled me as to how he knew which restaurant I was planning to take her. Not that I was gonna ask him, anyhow.

"Yes, it's a new restaurant that opened a week ago. They say the food's perfect for anyone, so I thought I should take Sarah there."

"Dicto Simpliciter."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Your statement was a fallacy. A 'Dicto Simpliciter', to be exact." he said as he threw the gun off to the coffee table (beside the severed hand) and clasped his hands together.

"You can't say that "the food's perfect for anyone". What if a person's allergic to the food they served? I doubt it would still be considered perfect, thus making your statement illogical." Sherlock said in the usual calculating tone he had when he deduced.

"Oh, really now, sorry for my illogical statement." I replied, not really bothering to take in what he just said. I turned to leave, but felt that I needed to say something in defense of the restaurant to... well... to boost my self-esteem, I suppose.

"Well, I tried a dish myself the other day, and I thought it tasted great."

There, that ought to do it.

"Hasty Generalization." He said almost instantly.

"Another fallacy. Just because a dish was good, doesn't mean the others are good as well."

Whatever. I thought. I had already walked out of the door when I noticed Sherlock putting his coat on and grabbing his scarf.

"Wait, are you coming? No, you can't come along! Whenever you come, something bad happens."

"Post hoc. I'm not the cause of these 'bad happenings'." He replied, sounding a bit amused.

"I'm serious Sherlock! Remember that time in the Chinese circus? If you weren't there, Sarah wouldn't have gotten into trouble."

"Hypothesis contrary to the fact. Even if I wasn't there, Sarah might have gotten into some other sort of trouble."

"No! Stay put!" I retorted. As far as I was concerned, Sherlock was the cause of that horrible date, tackling the performers as they were apparently Chinese smugglers. The same smugglers had the audacity to kidnap Sarah and I as leverage against Sherlock. I had absolutely no plans in becoming a hostage for tonight.

"Come on, you won't get bored. Just sit down and relax or something. It's just like your cases where you have to sit down and just think for a few hours or so."

"False Analogy. Sitting down while waiting for you is completely different from sitting down during a case."

"Look, Sherlock, please stay put. I'm an army doctor living with a person people refer to as a sociopath with no social life whatsoever."

"Ad misericordiam. Does you having 'no social life' matter in the discussion of me joining your outing?"

Yes, yes it does! I thought, but I don't think Sherlock would understand that sort of thing. It wasn't his 'area', after all.

"I'm leaving, and you can't come!" I yelled out loud and hastily ran down the stairs while Sherlock persistently followed behind. Before I could bolt out of 221b, my phone rang, Sarah's name flashing on the screen.

"Hello Sarah, sorry I'll be a bit late... Yeah... It's Sherlock's fault..." I answered cordially as I was shooting hostile glares at the tall man beside me. How ironic.

"...He's being troublesome and awfully annoying. Wouldn't want him tagging along right now..."

"Poisoning the well. You've planted negative views of me with Sarah without giving her the chance to see me. Honestly, John, you should try to think more logically." Sherlock uttered with a triumphant look in his face. I gave a quick goodbye to Sarah before turning back to Sherlock with a scowl.

"You want me to be logical? Fine! Give me one good, LOGICAL reason why I should allow you to come along."

Sherlock pursed his mouth into a self-satisfied smirk.

"I'm bored."


End file.
